Editorials by Robert Kirwan

Every Decision You Make Is About Who You Are

   What would you say if I told you that it was impossible for you to ever make a wrong decision? You may not always be happy with the results of some of your decisions, but it is impossible to make a ‘wrong decision’.

   As I was speaking with an acquaintance the other day we reflected upon the fact that both of us had been through a lot of different experiences over the course of our life. He said that if he had it to do all over again, he would certainly change a lot of the decisions he had made. I then asked him if there was anything about his life that he was satisfied with. Of course he laughed and confirmed that he had lived a great life, full of wonderful experiences, but indicated that in his mind there were some periods of his life that he could have improved if he had made different choices. After he left, I spent the rest of the day thinking about our conversation.

   A nagging question continued to pop up in my mind all afternoon. “If I had it to do all over again, is there anything about my life that I would have done differently?”

   I have to admit that if I knew what I know now, I am sure I would have made a lot of different choices.  After all, whenever we make any choice or decision in our life, that choice is always based on the amount of knowledge we have at the time we are required to make the decision. Hind sight is always 20-20 vision.

   Nonetheless, if by some “magical power” I could return to any point in my life and change a decision I made, I am absolutely convinced that I would not take up the offer. I would not change a single thing that has happened to me and I would not change a single decision that I have made. That may on the surface seem like quite a profound statement to make, but even though there are some areas of my life that I would like to improve, there are too many things I like about my life right now to risk losing them. There are too many wonderful relationships I have in my life right now at this moment to risk losing.

   I realize that if I could go back in time and change even just one decision I ever made in my life, it would affect everything else that has happened to me since the time of that decision, and my personal destiny would be entirely different from what it is today. The people in my life today and the things I am doing with my life right now are far too important to me to give up. I just couldn’t imagine existing without them. And yet, I know that changing a single decision made 20, 30 or 40 years ago would make all of the people and things in my life disappear.

    One of the main reasons I have no regrets with any of the decisions I have made over the years is that I have always believed each and every one of us has a definite purpose in life, and at the risk of sounding a bit too spiritual, our life is a series of events and interactions that are all part of a master plan. Everything, and I mean everything, happens for a reason. That includes both the good and the bad things that happen to you.

   I will be the first to admit that there are times when it is hard to understand “why” bad things have to happen to people, but when we think about it, all of the good things in our life, and all of the good relationships we have, would never have happened were it not for some bad thing that we experienced at some point in our life. Our life takes on a whole new course whenever we come up against tragedy or challenges. And with each new course come many, many wonderful experiences and relationships.

   I once read a quote by Neal Donald Walsch that drove this point home to me. "Every decision you make - every single decision - is not a decision about what to do. It's a decision about Who You Are. When you see this, when you understand it, everything changes. You begin to see life in a new way. All events, occurrences, and situations turn into opportunities to do what you came here to do."

   So the next time you are experiencing some crisis in your life or you find yourself in a situation which seems impossible to overcome, just remember that life is nothing more than a series of choices and personal interactions that lead us to another and another and yet another. Whatever you are experiencing right now in your life; whatever decisions you are forced to make; always keep in mind that life is an endless series of doors. Behind each door is opportunity.  Each choice we make is another door to be opened and another opportunity to either accept or reject. Whichever door we select takes us on a completely different journey.

   Dr. Deepak Chopra once said that “there is hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution.”

   As we continue on this journey of life, each in our own different way, let’s always remember that there is no such thing as a good or bad decision – there are only good or bad results that follow decisions. But always take hope in the understanding that no matter how bad the result is, all of the good things that happen to you for the rest of your life will happen because of that one decision.

   So the next time you are required to make a major decision in your life, just be sure you have all of the information you can get before making that decision, and then decide and move on. Don’t second guess yourself. The choice you make may not produce the positive results you had hoped for, but over time, there will be many great things that happen to you and you will meet many great people, simply because of that one decision.


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